Monday, March 24, 2008

The Ride is Finally Over

image: nic0
It is with great relief that I report that I have finally been allowed to get off the pregnancy rollercoaster.

Everything went fine this morning. I had my Sweetie, my family's love and all of your good thoughts with me as I went through the familiar routine of the D&C. I had the same anaesthesiologist who I saw not eight weeks ago for my egg retrieval, and I told him that I really did not want to run into him again - except at the mall or something. He wholeheartedly agreed.

The nursing staff were wonderful, as usual. This is the third time I've been to this center - not a statistic I enjoy to be sure - first for my lap in October 2006, then my D&C in April of last year and now this year's booby prize. The only mild annoyance was the intake nurse going over my medical history and saw my last D&C and very sympathetically called me a "poor thing" for having to do this twice. She was very nice, but I just wanted to be treated like anyone else there.

Now a little recap of the ride, shall we? It started out with an optimistic turn in the Positive and Doubling Beta Loop followed by some twists through Anxiety Canyon. Then there was the dive down Spotting and Cramping Hill bottoming out in No Baby Ravine. The slow climb up Imminent Miscarriage Mountain began, complete with the ominous clicking as the car slowly makes it way against gravity. Instead of being released into the torrent after reaching the top, we were sent into the Loop of Disbelief following by the ups and downs of Hope and Despair Canyon. Next, it was through the Loop of Guardedly Optimistic followed by the ups and down of Hope and Despair Canyon again. And then, we were unceremoniously plunged into Heartbreak Ridge, after which we were directed to D&C Station.

My ticket's been punched, I got my souvenirs and I never, ever want to go on that kind of ride again.

We are officially leaving the Amusement Park of Infertility for a while, taking a break to remember what we have, find what we have lost, discover new things, make new friends, reconnect with old ones, go to Paris, live decadently, and step away from tests, needles, Dr. Uterus, embryos, eggs, sperm, and everything else that has ruled for the past three years.

15 comments:

JJ said...

Leaving the amusement park is sometimes the best--no matter how thrilling, exciting, and even a bit (a lot) scary--sometimes you just need a break.
Wishing a peaceful break--we'll be here whenever you need us.
Hugs

JellyBelly said...

a break seems like a great idea. make sure that you eat A LOT of chocolate, do fun and decadent things and most of all, take care of you.

big, big hugs to you. :)

peesticksandstones said...

I love the way you described the roller coaster. So perfect. And I could totally relate to the weirdness of the repeat visits with the same nurses, etc.

It's good to see someone take a well-deserved break, too. Perhaps you will inspire me! I think I'm due as well. Take care of yourself...

Pepper said...

I'm so glad the ride is over and that you're on the road to healing. I hope the break is refreshing and recuperative.

Ahuva Batya said...

I hope you can move forward with healing now that you are finally off. You deserve some time spent on yourself and the loved ones around you.

Lori said...

When your equilibrium is messed with so, the best thing to do is step away from the ride.

Far away.

Denise said...

I was thinking about you today. I'm glad everything went well.

Three years is too long to spend in amusement park, especially this particular park. Hope you find some peace during your break and live like a real human being for awhile. But I do hope you'll stop back in every once in awhile if only to update us on what life is like outside the park.

Deathstar said...

They really should just condemn that amusement park all together, don't you think?

Might I suggest some healing reiki massage to help you heal?

shinejil said...

Time to do something else for a while, things that won't sling you up and down and round and round.

I'm sending Prosecco, strawberry, and Belgian chocolate vibes your way.

Ms Heathen said...

My dear Mrs X, I am so very sorry.

I hope that you can now begin the healing process, and that your break away from the IF amusement park is a peaceful and productive one.

TABI said...

I am so glad your roller coaster ride is over. You described it perfectly. I hope you have a nice break, I plan to do the same thing with hubby and just travel, eat, and play. I hope you never have to ride that roller coaster ever again!

Pamela Jeanne said...

Perhaps we'll find each other in Paris? I'll be there in April.

Wishing you well ... all the best to you in this next chapter.

Kork said...

I am so sorry to hear about this, but am glad that you have made a decision to rest and relax and heal completely before any further decisions. I do know where you are coming from and wish you nothing but the best for you and your sweetie.

loribeth said...

Love the roller coaster analogy (I've used it myself in the past!). Have a great break! (but do keep writing!!)

Sadie Marie said...

My prayers for a peaceful break from the coaster. The first drop is looming for me... I hope I'm as strong as you are :)