Tuesday, April 8, 2008

With a Spot Spot Here and a Spot Spot There...

Sing with me, ladies (and gents):

Mrs. X still has no period
E-I-E-I-O
And she has been spotting
For what seems like an eternity
E-I-E-I-O

With a spot spot here
And a spot spot there
Here a spot, there a spot
Everywhere a spot spot
Mrs. X still has no period
E-I-E-I-O

I know, I know, my talent is just devastating, isn't it?

In case the metaphors in the song were too subtle, I'll say it plainly: I haven't gotten my freakin' period yet. I am the Queen of the Spot. I can't even do my best Lady Macbeth impression because that would just encourage the damn spotting. My kingdom for a period!

And, contrary to last week's intelligence from Dr. Uterus' nurse, she told me yesterday that getting my period would speed up the decline in the HCG. Whatever. I can't make my body do it - just one of many things I can't seem to make my body do - so I've decided not to worry about it. But, that certainly doesn't mean I'm not going to complain about it.

The good news is that the latest number is definitely lower: yesterday's count was 2,427. Still a far cry from <5, but better than the previous number of 7,445.

In better news, I am officially off "pelvic rest"- although Sweetie decided to celebrate this momentous occasion by playing World of Warcraft for four hours instead of molesting me. I sewed - which is not really that newsworthy in and of itself except that I did it after I had a beer and well, let's just say it's a good thing I'm doing the free-motion quilting right now, with emphasis on the free-motion. I do have to admit that I also really haven't been in the mood. Hopefully that will change as well. Incessant spotting doesn't exactly make a girl rowdy, if you know what I mean.

That's all the news that fit to print - and sing.

image: bardsart

10 comments:

shinejil said...

I hate spotting with a passion. So I sympathize. Here's hoping that your period arrives in no time.

Hmmm... drunk quilting. There's a hobby for me!

FarmWife said...

You may be the only person in the free world who can make spotting & pelvic rest seem funny.

Here's hoping the curse is upon you soon (never thought I'd say that).

peesticksandstones said...

I have been waiting for my period forever, too. Practically feeling like Margaret in "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret" lately.

My husband has been known to keep me waiting in bed while he attacks the dragons or whatever the hell he does in his online game. I've wondered if I should try to "spice things up" with hobbit ears to get his attention!

Mrs.X said...

shinejil- drunk quilting is the next Olympic sport!

farmwife- Glad I could provide you the opportunity to curse someone who has actually asked for it.

peesticks - Sweetie actually floated the idea of me joining WoW so that we could play together - he tried to sell it as "couple time". Um no. Thanks.

jp said...

I know this may sound batty, but when I was waiting to start a cycle, way back last year, I wasn't getting my period so I did some "research" and tried two things, 1) high dose vitamin c for 24 hours, then stop and 2) those heat packs that tape on to your belly. I can't say for sure if that did it, or if it was a mental thing, but two or three days later, I had flow.
Sorry things are moving so slowly for you.

Denise said...

Spotting is evil. I'm at over a week now of constant spotting-while on BCP. Never had that problem for the 13 years I was on the pill before going off. I'm sorry this is dragging for you.

loribeth said...

Try wearing white underwear. Or plan a vacation. It always seems to work for me. (eye roll icon here)(((hugs)))

Deathstar said...

Actually, having sex would really help, I think. Of course, if your hubby is anything like mine - he's a little squeamish....

JellyBelly said...

"spotting sucks!" says the girl with the ten day period (which really is, two days of heavy bleeding bookended by many days of spotting).

would drunk quilting make my sewing skills better???

Paranoid said...

Though I'm sorry things still aren't going well, your post made me giggle.