Sunday, May 25, 2008

Positivity

Somehow I've managed to hold on to some of my post-Paris halcyonic feelings and lack of caring about my past infertility/miscarriage misadventures. This has enabled me to enjoy untold riches: I'm still immune to pregnant women and I've had no trouble working the quilt for my best friend's first baby due next month. I even asked her what the name was going to be! This is huge for me.

Big Red arrived last night and I am - without irony - very happy to have it. The post-miscarriage spot watch is over and I actually have a shot at (gasp!) a normal, non-medicated, interfered with or otherwise manipulated cycle. This makes me want to go buy new shoes and get a pedicure or do something similarly girly and distinctly off limits when someone is trying to get knocked up like going to a waterpark or getting on a rollercoaster! Maybe horseback riding? The possibilities are endless.

And, I have definitely decided to take the month of June off. I'm just not ready to jump back in to the melee. When I do get back in, I want to make sure that I am completely ready and I can't even begin to say that right now. While I am no doubt his favorite patient (what's not to love?), Dr. Uterus can certainly live without my company for a month.

But, I've been rather bemused at myself lately. Who is this girl who uses exclamation points and is chipper about getting her period? Where is our snarky Mrs. X? Did I throw her into the Seine or rig up a guillotine in the Place de la Concorde? None of the above. I just got tired of being negative and whiny. You, dear reader, may not have thought that I was, but I felt it accutely. And, I decided that I was tired of it.



So, I'm trying out the new and improved Mrs. X. She's certainly not all sunshine and baby animals, but she's also not the poster child for Woe Is Me Whine and Cheese. Rather than take bets on how long she'll stick around, I'll just welcome her into the fold and say, stay as long as you like.

17 comments:

loribeth said...

Snarky or sunshiny, it is great to hear from you, Mrs. X. : ) Glad your post-holiday hangover is continuing!

Deathstar said...

Nice to meet you, Ms. Life is not all the Bad, I'm Ms. Doing the Best I Can! Just came back from our annual Buddhist women's general meeting and I'm feeling great!

Sunshine & Kitten Farts said...

I'll take you either way, but I know you feel better this way, so I'm hoping the feeling sticks around for a long time. Vive la Paris!! Or something to that effect (not even acting like I remember anything from French class). So happy to hear you're happy!

DC said...

Thanks very much for your comment on my blog!!

GO BIG RED!!! YAY!!! (That was a lot of exclamation points, huh?)

Anyway, I've added you to my blogroll because I *heart* your blog. Hope you don't mind. :)

Please keep in touch. I will continue to follow your journey and wish you the very best.

Pepper said...

I like this side of Mrs. X! I've always believed that breaks can work wonders for one's outlook and I think extending the reprieve found in Paris for another month or so is a delightful idea. Enjoy the season. Enjoy the freedom. You deserve it.

peesticksandstones said...

Yes! This is great to hear. Sometimes I have these gushes of good feelings, too, and it's funny how much I question it -- feel suspicious of it or something. Enjoy, I say. Even the period part. I've always thought about treating myself to some of those re-usable Luna pads that come in leopard print and such...

Lesley said...

It's great to hear you sounding so positive! Maybe you could find an amusement park that offers a combination roller coaster / pedicure attraction. If they serve wine too, I'll be there.

Shinejil said...

Hey, I'd have been a thousand times whinier than you were, if I'd have struggled through what you did. And you are a very eloquent whiner, so it's totally cool in my book.

I'm also delighted at my period this month. So we're both hanging in the Happy Menses Lounge. Let's visit the sushi bar, down that Rioja, and then ride ponies to the sauna! Whoopee!

Denise said...

I say welcome to the new and improved Mrs. X!

alicia said...

It's great that you are feeling positive! It can be SOO hard to stay positive with all the IF stuff dragging you down, so way to go!

Here from NaComLeavMo

Kelly said...

Although, under different circumstances I too made the choice to be happy and rid myself of anger and sadness. My life has been more fulfilled since that decision than it was before. Best of luck to you to say positive. It's actually easier than it seems.
Visiting from NaCamLeavMo, Kelly D at twinpeas.

MsPrufrock said...

Sometimes we need a little rejuvenation, in whatever form it takes. Well done to you for being positive. It's something I've never quite been able to do myself.

Elizabeth said...

I call my car "Big Red," so I was amused to see your own Big Red reference. Congrats on feeling positive! It is amazing when sunshine peeks through the clouds when you were sure you would never see sun again.

Paranoid said...

As much as I like the snark, I'm really, really glad you're in a good place right now. I hope you enjoy the heck out of the coming month(s).

Duck said...

Nacomleavmo

wow that sounds like an amazing trip to Paris. have fun taking a month off.

Kim said...

Sometimes it is good to recharge and take a break and live a little outside of IF. Visiting from NCLM!

Erin said...

I'm here from NaComLeavMo, and I think you sound very happy and in-tune with yourself right now. Having breaks now and again are crucial to your own mental health, and lord knows this process is hardly easy.

Treat yourself to something girly and tell us all about it!